Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Why I Do What I Do

2015 has been quite the year. It has been my first full year as an 'adult', a year in which I said good bye to one chapter of my life and dove head first into the next. It has been a year of self discovery away from the comfort of a home I'd known for 4 years. This year I found my voice and truly realized what is important to me. I have made new friends, finally said good bye to the one's who have drifted away, and surrounded myself with those who make me a better version of myself. To the ones who have held it down and continue to hold it down, thank you. You know who you are. You are the ones that I would gladly go to war for and the ones I owe everything to.

The decision to start blogging was one that took some thinking. I always heard people saying that everyone is a blogger these days, but the level of mental, physical and emotional stability it takes to put yourself out there to what is literally the world, is something that is often skipped past. When I first began posting, I remember sitting alone in my room for hours just refreshing my Instagram over and over again, waiting for that negative comment so I could delete it right away. I still have days of uncertainty after posting a picture in a crop top or short skirt, scared of what the comments will turn into, but I'm getting better. I embrace the bad because I know it will make the good that much more rewarding. I no longer delete those negative comments because they remind me of why I started the blog in the first place. I leave them there as a way to motivate myself and push through all the societal BS that seems to find a home on the pages of men and women who refuse to fit it's mold.
I'm proud of my body. I'm proud of every single stretch mark, every curve, my thick thighs and every other important detail that makes me uniquely Inemesit. I blog not because I care about the number of followers I get or because of endorsements and perks that come with it; I blog because I want to be the body positive role model I didn't have as a 12 year old who navigated a space not made for her. I want to be living proof that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that is adolescence. Being bullied for how you look,  for the colour of your skin or for excelling in school made growing up tough but I pushed through, at times alone, to find who I am today. I want to relay my story of struggle as an immigrant with a British accent pulled away from my home and placed in a world that was so foreign in hopes that at least one young girl can see her worth. I want to appeal to the fashion industry as a whole to create branding and provide models that better reflect the everyday woman. To provide clothing that doesn't force young plus size men and women to wear clothing beyond their age. I'm appealing to fashion retailers, as a woman who not too long ago was a teenager who fell prey to starving herself just to look like everyone else, to start representing women of all shapes, sizes and colours. It is so important that we don't negate the power that a select few in the design world hold over the well being of millions of young women around the world.

So there is my year in a nutshell. It has been a year of self discovery, a year of many downs and many more ups. I refuse to buy into the "New year new me" mentality because I don't need a new me. I'm okay with the me I currently am. When midnight strikes on January 1st, I will be the same Inemesit I was 2 minutes before, ready to take on 2016 with the same drive and confidence that I have worked hard to gain.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me this year. I wish you all the best this Holiday season and I am beyond excited to take on 2016 with you all.

Love & light