Thursday, 12 May 2016

Bare Introspection - Part 2

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Vulnerable. Afraid. But Happy.
These are the emotions that crash over me like waves
Hiding behind a veil of nervous laughter 
But deep down feeling like the world knows my secret
Feeling like I've kicked open a door through which my insecurities can float into existence
Carefully scrutinizing every flaw
Every scar
Every stretch mark
Every fold
Afraid that my worth is plummeting towards the surface
Engulfed in flames
Terrified that my not flat tummy or thick thighs may offend someone
May cause someone discomfort
On the verge of running, clothed, to the back of the room
Where I can not be seen
But through this all
Past the insecurities, the fear, the anguish
I am happy.
I still have a ways to go before putting myself out there like this gets any easier
But for now I'll settle with contentment
I'll settle with being proud of how far I've come
I'll settle for embracing how far I still have to go
Because I will not allow my spirit to be broken
Because I'm happy.
No Sorries
I will not apologize for my thick thighs
My stretch marked hips 
Nor my big arms
I will not apologize for my melanin levels
My kinky hair
Nor my Jackson 5 nostrils
I will not apologize for my big lips
Fat ass
Nor my back rolls
Instead, I choose to embrace all the flaws that make me uniquely me
I relish my curves and folds and hips
I bask in the glory of my Black Girl Magic
I will strut through the world and prove that my size does not dictate my worth
I will yell from the rooftops 
And above all else
I will never apologize for being me
Dear Inem 
This letter has been a long time coming 
A promise that I made to myself years ago
To tell myself all the positive things that I never did
To let myself know my true worth

Dear Inem, you are phenomenal
You are a piece of art
A precious diamond crafted by the pressures of time
A priceless treasure in this world

You may not see your importance
Your worth shadowed by unrealistic expectations
But the world is a brighter place because of your presence
Because of your smile

Dear Inem, you are strong
Powerful beyond your own comprehension 
Battling through life one hurdle at a time
A force of nature to be reckoned with

Dear Inem, it's okay to have your bad days
It's okay to let your emotions show through
To feel things as deeply as you can
To wear your heart on your sleeve

You can cry and hate the world
You can express your frustration
You can punch a hole through a wall
You deserve to express yourself without fear of ridicule

Dear Inem, tear down your walls
Let people in
Show off your true self
Embrace all that you are

Dear Inem, you deserve the world
You deserve to be happy
Never forget to love yourself 
And keep reminding yourself of this every single day